Ahhh…The Joys of Ageing

This past year I turned 40. Yup, that’s right I admit to the “F” word. There are some definite plusses to ageing. Such as, wisdom, confidence and the ability to get exactly what you want from the United ticketing agent to your cell phone provider. However, I’ve recently become aware of some unexpected joys I didn’t notice in my thirties, and decided to compile a Top 20 List. Some of these delights apply to me, others were provided by my generous Facebook buddies, and are probably pleasures I have to look forward too.

For those of you within a couple years of 40, you might be able to identify with a few. Those over 40, you’ve probably traveled through these thrills and are onto other fun life changing activities. As a Facebook friend said – “Want to know what happens in your 50s? Nah, I’ll let it be a surprise.” For those of you significantly younger than 40, take note – because you, too, will someday turn 40.

You know you’re in your 40’s when…..

1. You spend half an hour at the drug store comparing wrinkle creams.
2. You realize the consistent pain in your thumb/hip/knee isn’t just sore muscles. It’s the beginning of arthritis. Now you understand the Aleve commercials. “All day long. All day strong.”
3. The kid at the grocery store calls you ma’am, and no longer asks to see your ID.
4. You get up after a movie and your stiff knees crack and creak like Orville Reddenbacher’s popcorn.
5. Things that used to be perky now sag, and you look for bras that “provide lift and support.”
6. Your hands no longer look like they did when you were 20, they look your age.
7. The last time you shopped for glasses it wasn’t for the sun, but those half-moon specs.
8. You have researched Botox on the internet, and given it serious consideration.
9. You’ve increased your computer fonts and icons to LARGE.
10. Your diet no longer consists of a single multivitamin. It has increased to include things like D, B12, Gingko, or Fish Oil.
11. Your kids ask you what a cassette player is, and you can recall what your first cassette was.
12. You enter a store and can’t remember what you’re there for.
13. Grey hairs no longer come in one or two at a time, they’ve exponentially exploded all over your head.
14. Your favorite movies as a kid are now being remade, only now they call it “rebooted.” E.g. Footloose, Batman, Total Recall
15. As you walk through Macy’s the sample ladies hone in on you and press packets of anti-ageing/wrinkle creams into your hand.
16. If you have to enter your birthdate online it takes a looooong time to scroll down to find it.
17. You attended an 80’s cover band concert and could sing along with every song.
18. Unless you’re perfectly toned, you’ve developed “batwings.”
19. Your kids can’t believe that you lived in a time period when households didn’t have computers, much less cell phones, tablets, and iPods.
20. Sporadically, you wake up sweating in the middle night, or rooms suddenly get steamy. You ask those around you, “is it hot in here?” and they shake their heads. Welcome to perimenopause.